A Lot of Bull (Red)
Unfortunately for Galliano angler Willie Bergeron, the mammoth fish
he hauled in yesterday morning was actually a delicate 11-inch spec
trapped inside the body of a 31-inch bull red.
Stephanie Bergeron, his very intelligent and sunburned daughter,
broke the news to him after netting the leviathan. It was their tenth
redfish of the day, setting them at their limit. After pretending to
hold a telepathic conversation with the gasping, flopping beast, she
broke the news to her father, informing him that they have to release
the fish or the game wardens would throw him into a FEMA camp for a hate
crime.
Mr Bergeron, an angry man unable to make sense of a quickly changing
world, easily believed his daughter and reluctantly released the red
back into the marsh to live as a spec. As it swam away, Mr. Bergeron
cursed dozens of Washington D.C. politicians by name.
When The Push Pole contacted Stephanie to inquire about why she would exploit the anger of her gullible father, she replied:
That bull gave him six reds to my four. Throwing that big one back
gave me a chance to get my five and at least match him, which I ended up
doing because he was too busy texting AM talk radio programs about what
just happened. It worked out perfectly for me…and that red, who I’m
sure is in open water with his brothers, tearing up minnows under the
birds right now.
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