Sam, from Microsoft

We had developed some cracks in the skimmer inlet of our pool – probably the result of ground shift caused by last year’s drought.

Honey was gone to the dentist, so I had carried the cordless phone out to the pool while I worked on patching the cracks.

I was neck deep in the water, kneading a ball of JB- Weld waterproof epoxy between my fingers, when the phone rang right on cue.  I set the gob of plastic down, swam to the ladder and made it to the phone just before it would have gone to voice mail.

“Hello.”

There was a lot of noise in the background – sounded like multiple conversations or maybe seagulls behind a shrimp boat – then a voice straight out of Mumbai said “This is Sam from Microsoft.  Are you near your computer please?'”

“What?”

“This is Sam from Microsoft.  We have discovered that you have downloaded a dangerous software.  If you will turn on your computer, I will help you to remove it.”

Taking a line from a State Farm TV ad, I asked him “What are you wearing, Sam from Microsoft?”

“Pardon?”

“I am in my bathing suit, in the water, repairing my swimming pool.”

“Thank you, Sir.  I will call back again.”

It has been several days and Sam has not called back – I would bet the farm that he never will.  I have no idea what that call was about but I’m sure it was some kind of scam.  In the entire history of the corporation, I doubt if the Microsoft help desk ever made an unsolicited call to a customer.