My First Poem

When people wonder about my bizarre, some might say macabre, sense of humor, I suppose that I could blame it on my mother’s sister, Aunt Clarene. 

I was not yet three years old, and she was about twelve, when she taught me to recite:

Willie grabbed his sister Nell

And threw her in the water well

She's down there yet because it kilt her

Now we have to buy a filter.

I suppose I already knew Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, but that was as much song as poem.  The verse about Willie  is, to the best of my knowledge, the first poem I ever learned.

There are literally dozens of those verses, known as “Little Willie” jokes or “Wicked Willie” poems, all of them by anonymous authors. Apparently they were all the rage throughout the English-speaking world in the 1930’s and 40’s. 

I have tried to discover when and where they actually originated, but haven’t had any success.  Some seem to have come from England, but they all “went viral” - covering the world long before the internet gave us that term.

I did find many more examples of the genre on the internet. Here are just a few:

Little Willie, mean as hell
Drowned his sister in the well.
Mother said, while drawing water,
"Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter."

Willie with a thirst for gore
Nailed the baby to the door.
Mother said with humor quaint,
"Willie dear, don't scratch the paint."

Willie, I regret to state,
Cut his sister up for bait.
We miss her when it's time to dine,
But Willie's fish taste simply fine.

Willie tripped on the window sashes,
Fell in the fire and burned to ashes.
Now the house grows damp and chilly,
Cause we don’t have the heart to poke poor Willie.

Little Willie, full of glee,
Put radium in grandma's tea.
Now he thinks it quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.

When Grandmamma fell off the boat,
And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float,
Willie just sat by and smiled -
I almost could have slapped the child!

There are many more like these, but I have to stop somewhere.  I think the ones here represent the best (or worst) of the bunch.