The Emperor Has Left The Building

One of the Houston area's strangest attractions – and we have quite a few, just think of the Orange Show – is going out of business.

Here’s the story from the Lisa Gray at the Houston Chronicle:

"You want a soldier for your garden?" jokes lawyer Dixon Montague. "You'd have to have at least two. One would be lonely."

Montague, who works for legal superfirm Vinson & Elkins, was referring to one of the strangest liquidation sales in Houston history: that of Forbidden Gardens, the Katy theme park whose star attractions are 6,000 thigh-high terra-cotta soldiers — 1⁄ 3-scale replicas of the soldiers excavated from the tomb of China's first emperor.

Forbidden Gardens is closing this month after almost 15 years. Expansion of the Grand Parkway, a ring road connecting Houston's farthest-flung suburbs, will encroach on the eastern edge of the park, Montague says, ruining its "contemplative nature."

Since the closing has been announced, fans have wondered what will happen to the Gardens' strange Chinese-history-themed delights. What will become of those terra-cotta soldiers? Of the doll-size Forbidden City? Of the full-scale copy of the Imperial Dragon Throne? And of the enormous, sublimely weird pair of dog/human statues that look as though they escaped from Yellow Submarine?

Montague says that his reclusive client, Forbidden Gardens founder Ira Poon, hopes to sell them in a single lot to someone who will resurrect the theme park elsewhere.

What's the asking price? Montague won't say.

How much would it cost to move the bedraggled exhibits and restore them to their former splendor? Montague doesn't know.

How long does a potential buyer have to act? Not very.

Forbidden Gardens will begin disassembling its exhibits Feb. 13 and will close its doors to the public Feb. 21.

Potential buyers, Montague says, should call right now.

But what if you want just one terra-cotta soldier for your garden? (Or two, because one would be lonely?)

Check Craigslist.org, where Forbidden Gardens' staff has begun to list all matter of things that the theme park won't need anymore: tools, benches, vases, porcelain figurines, tiny Chinese palaces … and yes, at least a few of those warriors.

"We are selling a variety of terra-cotta warriors for just $100 each," states one listing. "We are willing to make a deal if you buy in bulk."

Alicia Mendez, Forbidden Gardens' tour director, explains that the Craigslist ad doesn't concern the warriors currently on display. Right now, she says, the staff is selling off extra soldiers - spares kept in storage, intended for displays that were never completed. The pair in the Craigslist photo appear moldy.

And the little porcelain figurines, offered for $1 each? Mendez says those aren't the doll-size royalty, concubines and eunuchs who currently populate the theme park's Forbidden City. They're salvaged from other exhibits - such as the Temple of Heaven, which collapsed awhile back.