Tiny

When I was in high school, our next-door neighbors were Paul and Tiny Woods.  I thought they were old – in their 50s – but we became really good friends. Paul was a nice enough fellow, but Tiny was one of the most unforgettable people I’ve ever met.

As her nickname implies, she was small and thin, but she was one of the toughest women ever made.  She could – and would – shut down their tractor by shorting out the spark plugs with her hands, and I once saw her punch a yearling Brahma bull between the eyes and knock him to his knees.

I was visiting her one day when a pair of well-dressed young men arrived at her door – Jehovah's Witnesses or LDS missionaries – and when they began their spiel, Tiny said:

“Boys, I respect your religion and I hope you’ll respect mine.  I’m a sun-worshiper.  Come on around to the back yard, and we can get naked and talk religion all day long.”