I should probably mention that she was drop-dead gorgeous and I had a bit of a crush on her. Although she was probably in her 40s, she still had the face and figure of the teenager who had grown up surfing in Hawaii. She liked me, too, and when I finished assignments early she would give me a hall pass even though she had to know I was heading up to the roof to smoke.
On the day in question, she cleared the top of a table at the front of the classroom. She climbed up on the table and said "Look, class. I lie on the table." which she then proceeded to do. After a few moments she got down, grabbed a book and said "I lay the book on the table." and did that.
Everything was fine to that point, and even the dullest bulb in the class had probably got the point.
But---
Then she said "If Robert were big enough, he could lay me on the table." and I immediately announced "I'm big enough!"
The classroom erupted in laughter. Poor Mrs. Strong turned as red as a box of Valentine candy and left the room.
She eventually came back and class returned to normal, but our relationship was never the same. I didn't get any more hall passes, but she did recommend me for honors English the next semester.
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