Catching Flies

“Why in Hell would I want to catch flies?”

The speaker is a character in a book I’m reading, a police lieutenant and total literalist.  It is her response when someone quoted the old axiom - “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”

My mother must have told me that a thousand times, usually after hearing me make some cynical (or downright snarky) comment.  It is a good and valuable metaphor - You will make more friends by being nice than by being rude.

Taken literally, however, the statement is demonstrably incorrect.

Empirical observation has proven that flies are not particularly attracted to honey, but acetic acid (vinegar) reminds them of rotting fruit, and that is something they do like.  Balsamic vinegar in a saucer with a little water and a few drops of dish washing detergent will lure, secure, and eventually dispatch flies by the truck load.

While I’ve heard that saying all my life, I had never really given it any thought.  Now that I have, I think you would probably catch more flies with bullshit.

Sandwiches

What comes to mind when I say sandwich?  Something like the picture, or something simpler?

I think my wife’s favorite simple sandwich is peanut butter on white bread.  Not peanut butter and jelly, just peanut butter – and not just any white bread, it’s got to be from a Sunbeam brand sandwich loaf.

I like peanut butter, but there is no way on earth that I would eat it alone.  I learned that it stuck to my palate when I was a little kid, and now that I have dentures it would be so much worse.  I also prefer breads with more texture – whole wheat, rye, pumpernickel, just about anything but white.

When I was about seven or eight years old, Gus Brooks, our across-the-street neighbor, made me a sandwich with peanut butter, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato, and I thought it was great.  Since then, not all of my peanut butter sandwiches have included lettuce and tomato, but if they didn’t have jelly, they had Miracle Whip.  Honey thinks this is an abomination, but I won’t eat them any other way.

Speaking of abominations, my dad’s favorite sandwich was pressed ham and apple butter.  I tried that once, but didn’t get past the second bite.  A sandwich with meat in it should never be sweet – that’s just wrong!

Easter Eggs

A couple of Easter Eggs for you today:

First, the Houston Zoo had an Easter egg hunt this week -

Each animal got “eggs” filled with treats designed specifically for them. The Meerkats  went nuts over plastic eggs filled with mealy worms, while the Orangutans got papier mache “eggs” the size of footballs stuffed with broccoli and bok choy.  All of the treats were a lot healthier than what human kids are getting today.

Second, an interesting way to cook Easter eggs:

Two hours on the smoker at 250°, and the eggs will decorate themselves.  The guy who posted these on line admitted that he hadn’t tried one yet, but they sure came out pretty.

Rash Statement

Yesterday started out normal enough – Honey went for her walk, and after hauling another trailer load of limbs to the burning pile, I started mowing the yard.  By the time I came in for lunch, though, things had changed.

Honey told me to look at Dusty, our little red Dachshund.  After being her usual feisty self earlier in the day, she had suddenly become lethargic, she was obviously in pain and would barely lift her head to look around. 

My first thought was snakebite – our dogs are hunters, hate snakes, and one or the other of them has managed to get bitten about once a year since they were pups.  I checked her all over, but found no tell-tale swelling anywhere.  I called the vet’s office and told them we were on the way.

The vet had a full schedule, and they had to work us in, so it took a while.  Once we were finally in an exam room, it was determined that her temperature and heart rate were normal.  Then they did blood tests, which came back normal, too.

Then, while we were waiting for the doctor, Dusty broke out in a rash.

I had never seen anything like it – one minute she looked the same as ever, and the next little patches of hair were sticking up out of her normally smooth coat.  When the doctor came in, I pointed this out and he agreed that she was definitely covered in welts.  The technician was quick to point out that they hadn’t been there when she worked on her just a few minutes earlier.

They gave her a Benadryl injection and a steroid shot, and sent us home with Prednisone tablets. $200 later, we still have no idea what caused the reaction, but by yesterday evening, Dusty was her usual ornery self.

Taxes and Yard-work, Whoopee

Not much new, and nothing fun, to report today. 

We got our income tax check off in the mail yesterday, and today’s big project it to pick up and burn fallen limbs before the rain starts again. I burned a big trailer load yesterday, and got at least that much cut to sizes I can pick up so I could burn it today.

There is a chance of rain this evening,  a better chance for even more on rain on Easter, and there are still spots in the yard that are too wet to mow.

Clover Do-Over

A week ago today, I posted a picture of a five-leaf clover I picked in our back yard.  Later that same day, I found two four-leaf clovers within inches of where I had picked that five lobed one.  Those two went into the same baggie where Honey was drying and pressing the first one.

Then Tuesday, Honey, who swears that she had never found a four-leaf clover in her life, picked two more in the same spot! 

Not sure if they all came from the same plant, but they all came from an area no larger than about three square feet.  I would have posted this yesterday, but I didn’t want it mistaken for an April Fool’s joke.

Spring

 

April first and Spring has definitely arrived at the Boggy Thicket.

Can’t really explain it, but here is the thing

Eighty degrees just feels different in spring

By the middle of August, I know that you might

Be praying for sixties on a hot summer night

But a warm day in April can make your heart sing