No B/S, PLEASE!

 

There’s an old saying that goes “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.”

As clever as that may sound, it just doesn’t work!

99% of time, it will lead to a very unpleasant experience for both the baffler and the intended bafflee. Okay, bafflee is a made-up word, but all words are made-up words, so let’s just go with it. I’m sure you know what I mean.

As a color copier technician, I had to deal with graphic designers and computer wizards whose daily job required them to perform miracles. Often they were operating a Mac the size of a Volkswagen with multiple 42 inch screens, doing things to images that should not have been possible. I learned very quickly that if I, with my limited computer/networking knowledge, did not understand the problem, I damn well better say so – admit my ignorance, and work from there.

Once past that hurdle, we were able to work as a team to address their concerns. Somehow, the problem always got fixed, or we devised an acceptable work-around.

Recently, I have experienced the B/S approach from the consumer’s standpoint. It is infuriating, frustrating to say the least, and whatever the outcome, it leaves you with a very negative attitude toward the company the baffler represents.

Just a couple examples:

· Our fifth-wheel has a ceiling fan. Last year, when closing up, one of the slides caught a fan blade and broke it. The service manager at the RV place tried to convince me that this was “normal” – that we had just been lucky it hadn’t happened before - and somehow the broken fan blade was my fault.

· In order to have full functionality, our DirecTV DVR requires internet access. When it was installed a year ago, I ran a new CAT-5 cable from the DVR to the wireless router in the office at the other end of the house. It worked fine for almost a full year, then recently the DVR lost connectivity and would not reconnect. Before calling for service, I pulled the cable from the DVR and plugged it into my laptop; it connected immediately. When the technician arrived, he said that the DVR was not the problem; the LED on the back of the DVR lit up when the cable was plugged in so it had to be working.

WRONG!

To make matters worse, he seemingly proved his point by plugging in a wi-fi adapter which actually did work after I showed him how to program in the network password. His “fix” only lasted about 24 hours, and he was back two days later to replace the DVR – what I knew needed to be done to begin with.

As frustrating as these situations may be for the service representative, believe me, it is a thousand times more frustrating for the customer. For your own sake, just tell me the truth. If you try to fake it, even if the problem is resolved to my satisfaction, I’ll never trust you again.

Puny Little Quake

Southern California finally got an earthquake this weekend, but it was way too small to be the big one I have been predicting since last September. 

Saturday morning, a small earthquake rattled homes across the Inland Empire region and caused buildings to sway in downtown Los Angeles. The magnitude 3.8 earthquake struck at 8:07 a.m. The U.S. Geological Survey said it was centered about two miles northwest of Devore, in San Bernardino County.

"It felt like a sonic boom," said Letty Salgado, a server at Papa Tony's Diner in San Bernardino. "Everybody was startled. Customers all looked at each other, then went right back to their breakfasts. It was real quick."

A small 2.0 magnitude aftershock hit about a half-mile away about two minutes later, the USGS said. That was followed by a 1.8 magnitude shock at 8:14 a.m.

The epicenter was approximately near the junction of the 15 and 215 freeways at the base of the San Bernardino Mountains below the Cajon Pass. Lucy Jones with the USGS said the quake was located in an area where three faults come together. Early reports that the quake occurred on the San Andreas Fault were incorrect.

(Not) Always Room For Jello

The old slogan “There’s always room for Jello” doesn’t seem to apply in Houston.

Germaine "Jell-O" Wallace was busted in Houston, but he's accused of running a high dollar prostitution ring in Denver. Yesterday, a judge denied Jell-O's bail and ordered he return to Colorado to face charges.
Wallace says he's not a pimp, and his quartet of loyal women testified that  they're exotic dancers instead of prostitutes.
"Basically because he's a Black man hanging out with four white girls he's a pimp. Germaine is not doing anything wrong, and they're corrupt in Colorado," said Kara Loughead, one of the dancers.
One after another the women tried to convince a judge Jell-O is the target of a smear campaign.
"They are racial profiling this whole case," said Allison Kelly, another dancer.

U.S. Marshals captured him last week, riding in a cab with the women near FM 1960. Investigators had been hunting Jell-O since February when he skipped out on a court date.

He left behind a million dollar mansion, flashy cars and exotic pets to avoid more than a half dozen charges, including pimping and sexual assault. Court papers allege Jell-O was a daddy figure to ten women who were required to earn no less than $500 a night.

The women have launched an online petition to free Jell-O. They say it's their own money, earned legally, allowing them to live the high life.

He’s Baaaack

Russell Hantz, the all-time favorite villain on Survivor, is returning to television.  He and his brother Shawn are starring in a new reality show on A & E called Flipped Off, another in a long line of shows about buying and reconditioning houses for resale.

We probably don’t need another show about flipping houses, but maybe Russell did.

I’ll admit that I enjoyed his antics on Survivor, and he hails from Dayton, Texas – right down the road.  On the show, he claimed to be in the Oil Business,  and a millionaire.  As to just what he did in the oil patch, there were few details, but vague references to a tanker.  It was never clear whether the tanker was a ship, an eighteen wheeler, or what.

We have dear friends whose Dayton-based company has been serving the oil drilling industry for well over thirty years.  They had never heard of Hantz until he showed up on Survivor.

Museum

 

When I was in fourth grade, I won a summer scholarship to classes at the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

The museum was then located in a small building in the middle of the Houston Zoo, about where the tropical bird house is located now. I can’t imagine this happening today, but I would catch the bus in northwest Houston, and with two transfers along the way, ride to Hermann Park, south of downtown.  After spending the day at the museum and wandering around the zoo, I would take another three buses home.

The classes covered a wide range of subjects – biology, geology, paleontology, anthropology – taught by museum director Robert Vines. We  got to handle exhibits that were not on display, or were behind glass and out of reach to the average museum visitor. We actually got to hold dinosaur bones, live snakes and shrunken heads; nothing could be cooler for a nine-year-old boy.

The museum has come a long way since then, with several acres on the north end of Hermann Park, an astronomical observatory in Brazos Bend State Park, and a satellite museum in Sugar Land much bigger than the museum I attended in the 50’s.

Currently, they are putting the finishing touches on a huge new facility adjacent to the main museum – a four story building with display areas larger than a football field. It is scheduled to open to the public in June.

A Memorable Visit

Most of my time in the radio business was spent as a disc jockey or program director – I did serve as chief engineer of one station – but one of my most memorable experiences came as a newsman.

I was working at KSFA in Nacogdoches, when I happened to be in the right place at the right time. I did the first in-depth interview with Governor John Connally after the Kennedy assassination.

The Governor was in town for a fund raiser for an organization that his wife, Nellie, supported. He still had his right arm in a cast when he sat down with me for a half hour of conversation. I didn’t learn anything earth-shaking, nothing that added to the overwhelming mass of knowledge and mis-information flying around, but I came away completely impressed with the man.

Connally went on to serve in other offices, such as Secretary of Treasury in the Nixon administration, and after a switch in political parties, was an unsuccessful candidate for president in 1980. I always thought he would have been a good one – he was a good governor, and he looked presidential. I can’t think of anyone in my lifetime that looked more like a leader.

Taking A Day Off

I really have nothing important to say,

Too many subjects to get in the way -

Humming bird antics, that old dead tree,

Service (or lack of it) from DirecTV,

I’m declaring a bloggers holiday !